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Humanising Language Teaching
Year 3; Issue 2; March 2000

Jokes

Three one-liners

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected!

Any student skipping class to go bungee jumping will be suspended.

One six year old girl to another: " I'm never having kids. I hear they take nine months to down-load.

( two of these were sent in by Denny Packard - the last one was in ELT News, Athens, Greece. )


Absolutely certain

" I can't ever be sure of anything"

" So, you can't ever be sure of anything? "

" No."

" Has there ever been a time when you were sure of something?"

" No."

"Are you sure of that?"

" Yes. Absolutely certain!"

( attributed on the gravevine to Richard Bandler, co-originator of the synthesis that is NLP)


Spelling can be important

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Mother's helper needed - peasant working conditions.

And now the Superstore, unmatched in variety, unrivalled inconvenience.

Dinner special - Turkey $2.35: chicken or beef $2.25; children $2.00.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

For rent: six room, hated apartment.

Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once and you'll never go anywhere again.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

( re-printed from ELT News, Athens, Greece )

I f you look carefully you will probably find plenty more misspelling jokes in this issue of HLT!


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