A Person, a Student and a Teacher

Fabiana Gambino

Perspective makes the difference. It can make human beings appear either as "cruel, hideous, and repulsive monsters" or kind, marvellous and respect-worthy creatures. It can display teaching and learning as a simple process or as a challenging complex relationship. Everything depends on one's point of view. Indeed, education is essentially, in my opinion, a matter of perspective. It consists in enabling pupils to observe the world from different standpoints. It means helping them acquire a large number of "lenses" that allow a broader and more critical view of reality and make them independent and responsible for their own choices.

In the same way, teacher education is designed to teach student teachers to discover and define themselves under a new light, through an inner journey in search for one's own frame of mind and teaching style. As I will point out, becoming a teacher has meant to me adopting different perspectives and going through some fundamental discoveries that have completely revolutionized my previous view on teaching and learning.

When I first removed my student's apparel to don that of a teacher-to-be, I was suddenly enlightened by a series of epiphanies that, while overwhelming me with a multitude of doubts, made me also aware that I was not only going to take up a job - thus choosing somehow my future -, but I was also going to totally transform and redefine myself as a person. I soon realized that the course and the teaching practice would help me discover the unseen and precious things that lie underneath, which would help me find out who I was and what I wanted to be-come.

During my teaching practice I carefully examined every little detail I had never paid attention to, being also enriched with the knowledge the course was equipping me with. This more in-depth outlook and understanding of the teaching-learning process was the first remarkable "gift" I got during my journey.

Before I started the course I had always observed teachers from the learner's point of view. Now I was putting myself both into the teachers' and the learners' shoes. In fact, with my great surprise, I soon realized that I was neither a teacher, nor a student anymore. I was a student teacher, two figures in one. It seemed to me as if I were floating in a sort of limbo which, however, far from being oppressive and depriving, was endowing me with two different pairs of glasses - a sort of "inward eye"- through which I could perceive more deeply all the unpredictable dynamics within a class.

One of the most significant moments of this tiring but rewarding journey was marked by the discovery that I love teaching so much because I love learning immensely. It immediately appeared clear to me that I could not disconnect my enthusiasm for teaching from my love for learning. Indeed, I understood that teachers are learners first. Besides, my "baggage" as a learner was (and still is) very much heavier than my experience as a pre-service teacher.

Being young and just graduated, I had never entered a class as a teacher. My memories as a learner were still fresh and it was hard to assume the teacher's mind. Furthermore, again in my life, I would attend a course as a student. I would study and take exams. I would face such diverse learners and educators and, what is more, I would be tested and evaluated! How bizarre all that seemed to me! To be a teacher, I had first to be a student. Again, I would go through what being a student implies. This time, however, my being a learner was aimed at making a teacher out of me. I therefore understood that I might "exploit" the very learner's viewpoint that had so greatly influenced me, my dreams, my expectations and my forethought of teaching, to develop a new perspective and a new self.

After accepting my "learner's identity" as a key to my transformation into a teacher, I started to reflect upon myself as a person. All the activities and contents presented during the course shook somehow my personal identity and destabilised my beliefs and certainties, by showing me what did not become me and what I felt was my duty to accept. I had to fully acknowledge the fact that for the good of my pupils I would have to accept and include in my syllabus activities and methodologies that I myself was reluctant to perform and adopt because of my personal inhibition (e. g. kinaesthetic activities and drama techniques). On the other hand, I gradually understood that my needs were equally important and that my teaching had to be moulded on myself, as well as on my pupils. A little compromise was thus needed. This compromise was however the symbol of mutuality and empathy. It was the sign that teaching and learning is a two-way process needing equal authentic rapport.

Recognizing the crucial role of teachers' human side means, of course, being aware of the subjective view educators bring into their classrooms. I was amazed and a little disappointed in discovering that I could never help being partial, in spite of my effort. The well-known statement by Lévi Strauss "the observer is himself part of the observation" made now sense to me. As a human being, I have my own biases and am inevitably influenced both by the stereotypes and one-sided views of my cultural world and by my individual beliefs, values and ideals.

I have to recognize that I am a person foremost and an educator secondly. I have learnt to appreciate the person who is inside theteacher and benefit from the resources, energy and unique perceptions which portray an individual. Nevertheless, here is the dilemma: how to reconcile my subjectivity and one-sided view with the impartiality and neutrality teachers are supposed to possess? Learners reasonably expect teachers to be fair-minded and balanced. After a long reflection I have become conscious that, although it is impossible for me to be completely unbiased, I can and must be authentic and respectful of the learners' individualities, needs and learning styles. In other words, I have come to the conclusion that my only chance to be balanced lies in trying not to encage myself and my pupils in fixed roles. Moreover, after having recognized my prejudices and identified the particular "lenses" through which I perceive the world, I have also acknowledged that what I can present in my classrooms is only an interpretation of reality and that my task consists in developing the pupils' ability to critically observe and analyse the world around them.

Becoming aware of my human uniqueness and of the necessity to convert this subjectivity into a positive tool within my classrooms has transformed myself from the state of being a student to that of a teacher. I have discovered how creative and sensitive I am, I have found out my strengths, qualities and potential. I have faced my fears and my weaknesses.

If I had to create my pedagogical metaphor to depict my idea of teaching, I would compare myself to a conductor. As a teacher, I have a fundamental role. I have to beat time, keep the rhythm, harmonize the different musical voices, choose the right combination of the diverse instruments and assign the right task to each member according to their abilities. I can have them play as an ensemble (as a whole class), as well as individual voices. But I am not the main agent. Music - that depends on the musicians' skills and on their talents as well. In this metaphor lies the deeper meaning of education: there can be no effective teaching and learning without a mutually dependent relationship where all participants are aware of the unique and fundamental part they play.

To conclude, gaining this awareness has not marked the end of my journey into teacher education, since the construction of a teaching style is a never-ending process. I will continue my search for new strategies and procedures that best suit my personality and my pupils' needs. This is the key, I am totally convinced, to success.

Editorial: The piece was submitted by Assunta Nappi who supervised Fabiana Gambo on her road to becoming a teacher.

Please check the Skills of Teacher Training course at Pilgrims website.
Please check the Expert Teacher course at Pilgrims website.