Humanising Language Teaching
Year 3; Issue 5; September 2001

If possible I mentally prepare my talk with the parents.

What is my outcome?

What do I want?

I make the parents feel comfortable, despite the fact that I am their children's head mistress.
If possible I avoid sitting behind a table . I start with small talk and get into rapport with them (body-language, voice…) I try to speak first about something their child is good at. When I speak about the problem I always say " I notice," " I feel …" and not " Your child is…."

I find out the resources the parents need to solve the problem (more time, more help from me….) I also speak about the disadvantages that could flow from solving the problem. I find an outcome that seems OK for me and for the parents. I always repeat important phrases of what has been said especially the outcome so that I know we are speaking about the same thing.
I try to find items that will show us whether our strategy is working successfully and arrange for us to give feedback to each other in a week's time by phone or some other way. If the problem concerns an older child (13,14…) I involve the child in the process of reaching a solution.

What I never do:

-give the parents the impression I am against their child
- propose the solution myself
- give the parents the feeling of failure in education

Finding the solution to the problem must be a task divided between the parents and me.

In a silent minute, after seeing the parents, I go through the discussion by myself thinking about what I could do better next time.

[ Editorial note: here you have a marvellous example of the classical NLP Outcomes Procedure, adapted to the situation of a Head Teacher- Parents meeting. Christine talked us through this procedure during an NLP-for-EFL teachers in the Pilgrims Summer Insititute in the summer of 2001.]