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A Head Teacher talks to Parents in School

by Christine Faerberboeck, Austria

If possible I mentally prepare my talk with the parents. 

 What is my outcome? 

What do I want?

I make the parents feel comfortable, despite the fact that I am their children’s head 
mistress.
 If possible I avoid sitting behind a table . I start with  small talk and get into rapport with them (body-language, voice…)  I try to speak  first about something their child is good at.  When I speak about the problem I always say “  I notice,”  “ I feel …” and not  “ Your child is….”

I find out the resources the parents need to solve the problem (more time, more help from me….)  I also speak about the disadvantages that could flow from solving the problem.  I find an outcome that seems OK for me and for the parents.  I always repeat important phrases of what has been said especially the outcome so that I know we are speaking about the same thing.  
I try to find items that will show us whether our strategy is working successfully and arrange for us to give feedback to each other in a week’s time by phone or some other way.  If the problem concerns an older child (13,14…) I involve the child in the process of reaching a  solution.

What I never do:

-give the parents the impression  I am against their child
- propose  the solution myself
- give the parents the feeling of failure in education

Finding the solution to the problem must be a task divided between the parents and me.

In a silent minute, after seeing the parents, I go through the discussion by myself thinking about what I could do better next time.

[ Editorial note: here you have a marvellous example of the classical NLP
  Outcomes Procedure, adapted to the situation of  a Head Teacher- Parents
  meeting. Christine talked us through this procedure during an NLP-for-EFL teachers
  in the Pilgrims Summer Insititute in the summer of 2001.]