| Humanising Language Teaching Year 3; Issue 2; March 2000 ### Three one-liners I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected! Any student skipping class to go bungee jumping will be suspended. One six year old girl to another: " I'm never having kids. I hear they take nine months to down-load. ( two of these were sent in by Denny Packard - the last one was in ELT News, Athens, Greece. ) ### Absolutely certain " I can't ever be sure of anything" " So, you can't ever be sure of anything? " " No." " Has there ever been a time when you were sure of something?" " No." "Are you sure of that?" " Yes. Absolutely certain!" ( attributed on the gravevine to Richard Bandler, co-originator of the synthesis that is NLP) ### Spelling can be important Illiterate? Write today for free help. Mother's helper needed - peasant working conditions. And now the Superstore, unmatched in variety, unrivalled inconvenience. Dinner special - Turkey $2.35: chicken or beef $2.25; children $2.00. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. For rent: six room, hated apartment. Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once and you'll never go anywhere again. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00. ( re-printed from ELT News, Athens, Greece ) I f you look carefully you will probably find plenty more misspelling jokes in this issue of HLT!