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Being a Student changed my Teaching

by Eva Abascal

Eleven years ago I was a French teacher with a not too promising professional future.  At the time the situation with the French language in Catalonia was difficult.  There were only  a few students taking French, so I had to teach English in order to complete my timetable, without enough knowledge of the language.  To combat the anxiety and pressure created by my lack of preparation I protected myself by using grammatical structures in a mechanical and repeated way.  I preferred that my students adopt a passive attitude, so that I could be the centre of attention.  Being demanding with my students and maintaining a certain lack of flexibility was the method used at such an insecure professional stage.  Then I asked for a grant, which the Catalonian government gave me, thus giving me  the chance to spend one year in England totally immersed in English.

My new situation as a student made me aware of many things.  It was like being a teenager again.  I realised that although I felt very motivated, I was very easily distracted and no matter how much time I spent studying, I couldn’t always remember or memorise what I was supposed to.

I rediscovered the pleasure of talking and gossiping in class.   When my stomach felt empty and you could hear the noises it made, I couldn’t stop looking at my watch.  Unbelievable!  I was jealous too!  The teacher paid more attention to my Japanese colleagues than to me …I felt blocked and under pressure because of the insecurity and to make it worse, German people seemed to understand everything easily and had much better pronunciation than me.  What a mess!  How awful!

That situation helped me to be more aware of  difficulties and of my own learning process.  I realised that I was more involved in the communicative approach than in the traditional grammar exercises.  I was more interested in the inductive approach and in trying to use the language for different purposes and tasks.  

I am not sure whether I learnt a lot of English, but I think I understand my students a little more now.  I think that, in a sense, although my English is not as good as my French was, I am a  better teacher.

I no longer demand that my students  remember something I have explained and repeated 3 or 4 times.  I sometimes forget but I try to control my impatience, to pay
more attention to my marking method, my tone of voice, and I try to smile at everyone.  I take more risks in my classes:  I am more interested in the process, in thinking about activities being interesting and good fun in creating a relaxed atmosphere, than in controlling the class and although I still get angry when I can’t work the way I like, inside deeply I don’t live it as a personal attack, I don’t feel harmed.  To sum up I am now a little more eclectic.  I choose techniques from different metholodogies, vocabulary or grammar acquisition from several methods.

When I ask myself what I would think of my way of teaching if I were one of my students, I picture myself teaching and I can’t help an ironic and sympathetic smile.