Humanising Parent-Teacher Conferences
Tony Cañadas, Spain
Tony Canada’s is an English teacher and writer. He’s worked with all age groups and he has been working with Primary Students for the last seven years. He has written the collection of short stories: Portraits of the soul, 2005, and also the methodology book: Creative learning. Ed. Hablame. His main interests at the moment are NLP, storytelling and coaching. He lives and works in South-east Spain.
E-mail: airtonys@hotmail.com
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Introduction
Parent-teacher conferences: What is it all about?
Different stages
Preparing the presentation before
Establishing rapport
On being fair-minded
Mutual-Cooperation
Conclusion
References
A parent-teacher conference is an important part of education we are all concerned about. Spain, the country where I teach has a long tradition on dealing with this particular topic. During the Franco-dictatorship system that took almost 40 years, teachers were a form of superior authority. You couldn’t question them unless you wanted to be in big trouble. Parent-teacher communication was almost something that didn’t exist. Even parents feared the repercussion of teachers’ behaviour. (Just for a very minor problem a student could be expel from school for the rest of his/her life with no right to a free education whatsoever).
When Democracy was introduced in 1975, things started to change for the better. There was no censorship, so things could be dealt respecting everyone’s ideas, and the same applied to the school system. Things started to go wrong again at the beginning of the 1990s. Teachers had reached a well-deserved respect in society as guides in the teaching-learning system. But this open and democratic system didn’t last for long. Suddenly teachers were seen as inquisitors (because of Spain past history) and therefore not worthy to be trusted. Students behaviour became more intolerant towards teachers and parents though the latest were to blame for a big part of society problems.
Therefore, the consequences were devastating. Parents and children didn’t accept the teacher’s authority and there was a strong decline in the education system. Still today, we are regretting the consequences.
I think education is certainly a thorny subject and especially E.L.T is also an element of controversy within the system. But I am completely sure that instead of wishful thinking for a much better society, we can propose a slight modification at these difficult times, not only by the things we say, but also by how we behave. Today, one of the saddest things of education is that teachers have the biggest number of sick leaves of all professions.
In this article I am not going to tackle what to do with students involved in difficult situations but how to deal with the students parents regarding the children education.
One of the things we E.L.T teachers have to deal with is parent-teacher conferences. Depending on what we think about and how we carry on with our tasks, these conferences can be successful or on the other hand a complete disaster.
There are four different stages when dealing with this situation.
- Preparing the presentation before
- Establishing rapport
- Being fair minded
- Mutual cooperation
There is always a state of deep tension when we have to face something new. That’s why parent-teacher conferences must be prepared beforehand. It will help us using a guide as the following one:
- Greetings
- Teacher explains the situation briefly
- Parents talk about their experience and what they think about it
- Interchanging ideas
- Establishing a future model
- Conclusion
There are several kinds of parents we can have the chance to meet.
Cooperative parents
This is fortunately the case we find most of the times. Parents are very willing to help and share their children problems and keen on giving them a solution. The teacher and the parents can work in a team.
Parents with aggressive verbal/physical behaviour.
This is a very difficult situation to deal with. Even if you have the best intention, the problem can get out of control if we have to face this difficult time. The best thing to do in that case is asking for some advice to the principal or deputy –head. They will help us with dealing better with the situation and they can even be next to us at the conference. We don’t have to tolerate a negative behaviour no matter from whom it comes!
“Nagging” parents.
Sometimes we have to face parents who are always complaining about a situation no matter what happens. In these cases it is quite helpful to listen and then ask them to give a solution to the problem. You can both study the pros and cons and it is here when some parents realize how very little they know about solving the academic aspects of their children education.
Non-talkative parents
Here we have a good chance of talking as much as we want without overdoing it. Sometimes the parents are more eager than us to listen than we to talk. It is a good method to have a brief questionnaire and asking them about the home behaviour of their respective children.
Parents with personal issues
We have to be aware that parents are part and parcel of the child’s emotional background. Sometimes they will bring us problems they find hard to cope with. The best thing to do is to learn to listen. We should never be judgemental nor give straight instructions about how problems should be sorted. It can be useful in this case to direct them to the school psychologist who can deal much better than us with these circumstances. To establish rapport with the child’s parents is probably the most important step. The problem can be much easier sorted if the two parties agree with each other.
Who is right and who is wrong about anything? This is something very difficult to answer and sometimes we will have to admit our own mistakes. Apologizing does not equal failure. Assuming we can also make mistakes makes us more human. We are not infallible! However we will also have to disagree when we have to. This must be done with respect and always showing your ideas calmly and clearly.
We should always try to follow a set of principles followed by both teacher and parents. It is much better if the two elements have common aims to target. There are many ways where we can socialize with our students’ parents even outside the school environment.
A very good idea is to organize a parent-teacher evening when we address all the parents as well. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a conference. We can watch an education video or documentary and then comment it or simply organize a night out at a club or restaurant. It is also very important than parents should take part in the year activities like Christmas, Halloween, etc.
Education is a multiple task activity. It cannot be simply summarized in just a few points. It is necessary for both the parents and the teacher to have common aims for the children upbringing. Trust and respect are irreplaceable requirements. Without them the role of a good education cannot simply be performed. The coaching element of trying to be in some other people’s shoes is also a must. If we follow all these procedures on the right way we can be sure that the final process will be successful.
Jerome. S. Allender and Donna Sclarow. The Humanistic Teacher. Paradigm Publishers. USA
Louise Bomber. Inside I’m hurting. Worth Publishing.London.2007
Marie Delaney. Teaching the unteachable. Worth Publishing.London.2009
Marie Delaney. What can I do with the kid who…. Worth Publishing. Great Britain.2010
Robert Dills. From coach to awakener. Meta Publications. USA.2003
Please check the Methodology and Language for Kindergarten Teachers course at Pilgrims website.
Please check the Methodology and Language for Primary Teachers course at Pilgrims website.
Please check the Methodology and Language for Secondary Teachers course at Pilgrims website.
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