Xmas, Happy Bloomin' Christmas!

Alan Maley, UK

Happy Bloomin' Christmas!

Happy blooming
Christmas!
Tuneless carols'
screechmas.
Queenie's annual
speechmas.
Things to do and
listsmas.

Climate change and
risksmas
Weather forecasts
shitsmas
Traffic jams and
mistsmas.
Snow piled into
driftsmas.

Supermarkets' bizmas.
Credit crunch and
tristemas.
Parents in a tizzmas.
Knickers in a
twistmas.

Crackers full of
tricksmas.
Santa Claus and
blissmas.
Bottles in the
fridgemas.
Pressies for the
kidsmas.

Things we can't
predictmas..
Loads of useless
giftsmas.
Mistletoe and kissmas.
Sherry, cake and
whistmas.

All the latest
hitsmas.
Down the pub and
pissedmas -
Falling on your
titsmas.
Head split into
bitsmas.

Turkey, pud and fizzmas.
Too much grub and
shitsmas.
Stuffed with food and
zizzzzzzzzzzmas.
Good old-fashioned
Britsmas!