Humanising Language Teaching
Year 1; Issue 1; February 1999

Father to his small son:

"A stork has brought you a little brother; shall I take you up to see him?"

" Dad,…. I'd rather see the stork."

Two rich Jews shared a lover ……..to keep costs down.

As things would have it she got pregnant. It was the ninth month and one of the men was away on a business trip. The other sent him this e-mail:

" Our lover has given birth to twins. Mine was still-born ".

This bloke from Alentejo has nine sons, eight have black hair and one is a red-head. He has spent a life-time wondering if the red-head is really his child.

He falls ill and takes to his bed. He is at death's door . He calls his wife to his bed-side and says to her:

"Tell me the truth; the red-head isn't my son, is he?"

"Manuel, suppose I tell you the truth and you don't die?"

"I'm dying, I'm dying…..don't let me die wracked by doubt."

"Listen Manuel, I'll tell you the whole truth…….the red-head is truly your son"

She falls silent and the seconds tick by. "Jose is the father of the other eight!"

"What sort of contraception do OFSTED inspectors use?"

" Their personalities!"