Humanising Language Teaching
Year 4; Issue 3; May 02

The Burden Basket

Michael Berman

In the Native American tradition, the Burden Basket was hung outside the Tipi as a reminder to guests to leave their personal complaints or problems outside before entering. The custom was honoured or the visitor was permanently barred from returning again because entering another person's home with a black cloud of worry or neediness was considered to be very bad manners.

Being in the present moment and being willing to be a welcome guest requires strength of character. If everyone considered the Sacred Space of others before speaking or acting, balance would more easily be maintained in all communal living conditions.

Having compassion for the burdens of others and yet not taking those burdens on as our own, requires strength too. Inner strength is created through trusting our own personal knowledge and only seeking help when we have exhausted all other paths. The symbol of the Burden Basket teaches us not to dump our problems on others and this is what the tales in this section are intended to deal with.

As we get older we moan and groan about becoming more forgetful. Sometimes, however, having a selective memory can be something positive as in the traditional Chinese tale that follows:

Hua Tzu of the state of Sung suffered from a loss of memory in his middle years. Whatever he took in the morning was forgotten by the evening and whatever he gave in the evening was forgotten by the morning. On the road he would forget to move ahead and indoors he would forget to sit down. Here and now, he has forgotten then and later he will not remember the here and now.

He consulted an astrologer, but divination provided no answer. Then he sought the help of a medium, but prayer could not control the problem either. Finally he visited a doctor, but once again the treatment brought no relief.

In the state of Lu there was a Confucian scholar who claimed that he could cure the disease, and Hua Tzu's wife paid him half their estate to do it. "No sign or omen," said the Confucian, "can solve this. No prayer can preserve him and no medicine will work. I must try to transform his mind, alter his way of thinking, and then there may be hope." The scholar stripped Hua Tzu, and the naked man demanded clothes. The scholar starved Hua Tzu, and he demanded food. He locked Hua Tzu in a dark room, and he demanded light.

"This illness can be cured," the Confucian advised Hua Tzu's son. "But my remedy is a secret handed down for generations, a secret that has never been revealed to anyone outside our family. I must ask you to dismiss all your father's attendants so that he can live alone with me for seven days." The son agreed.

Nobody knows what methods the scholar used, but Hua Tzu's ailment of many years miraculously cleared up. When Hua Tzu realized that he was cured, he went into a tremendous rage. He chastised his wife, punished his son, and drove off the Confucian with weapons. People seized Hua Tzu and asked him the reason for his strange behaviour.

"In my forgetfulness I was a free man, unaware if heaven and earth even existed or not," said Hua Tzu. "But now I remember all that has passed, all that remains or has perished, all that was gained or lost, all that brought sorrow or joy, all that was loved or hated – the ten thousand problems that have plagued my life. And I fear that these same things will disturb my mind no less in times to come. Where shall I find another moment's peace? That's the reason why."

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Pre-listening: The story is about a man who suffers from loss of memory Who do you thinks succeeds in helping him overcome the problem - an astrologer, a medium, a doctor or a Confucian scholar? Now listen to the story to find out if your predictions were correct or not.

Now for a contemporary tale. Our fast-paced daily lives make it difficult to be fully present at any one moment. We are always thinking about what is going to happen next and there is no time for quiet or reflection. But sometimes we need to step outside this web we weave ourselves into and to reconnect with our inner resources and that is what The Clock is all about:

It had been his grandfather's – a battered old travelling alarm-clock that had to be wound up every twenty four hours and always lost time, a regular ten minutes a day. And although modern replacements were available cheaply that were clearly much more convenient to operate, there was no way he could bring himself to part with it. The clock was the one possession his grandfather had left him that Daniel felt he could make use of and that's why, despite its obvious limitations, he chose to hang on to it.

So whatever time he set the clock for, the bell would ring ten minutes earlier. The problem was exacerbated by his own in-built clock, which conditioned him to wake up ten minutes before the bell actually went off. However, this suited Daniel just fine as he had a fixation with time.

Daniel had an answer for just about everything except the one question he always dreaded – when people asked him if he was happy. How can anyone truly say they're happy given the state the world is in? This would be his stock reply. However, in reality, the concept of happiness was beyond his comprehension. For Daniel's only concern in life was not to waste any precious time and nothing else really mattered.

Being a born worrier, he was in constant fear of being late and not making the most of the time he had. Even at weekends he could never manage to lie in like other people seemed to do. On Friday nights, to please his long-suffering wife, he would break his weekday habit of setting the clock. However, he knew that only too well, his in-built clock would never fail him and that he would still wake up the same time as usual.

In reality, the policy was counter-productive as most of the time he was so overtired that he was unable to produce any work of value or to appreciate the extra time that he did have. In fact, the problem got worse and worse, until eventually his nerves became totally frayed and it was apparent to all around him, and even Daniel himself, that he was in desperate need of help.

That's when the clock decided to take over. One morning despite the usual preparations Daniel had made to wind up the clock and set the alarm the night before, it chose not to go off. Moreover, his in-built clock chose not to operate too. It was as if the two clocks were in league with each other. And so Daniel slept blissfully on until lunchtime. And instead of waking up guilt-ridden and in a panic, he woke up refreshed and revitalised.

As far as Daniel was concerned, it was the first morning of spring. And the first thing he did once he'd got dressed was to go outside into the garden and to dig a hole. There he buried the clock, which had served its purpose, and from that moment on he never looked back. For Daniel had rediscovered his birthright - how to truly enjoy the life he'd been blessed with. And from that day on Daniel had no trouble answering the question that had previously so perplexed him. For the sound of the ticking that had so plagued him had finally stopped.

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Pre-Listening: The story you're going to hear is about a clock. What sort of clock do you suppose it is and what's special about it? Now listen to the tale to find out whether your predictions were accurate or not.

The story deals with a person who suffers from stress. As a follow-up activity you might like to make use of the questionnaire below.

1. How do you react when something upsets you or winds you up?
   1. You think about it for a day or two.
   2. You can't get it out of your head for a week or more.
   3. Your thoughts quickly turn to other things.
2. How do you feel when you think about all the jobs you have to do during the day?
   1. You usually feel you can cope well despite the pressures.
   2. You feel wound up but expect to get through it.
   3. You feel overwhelmed and think you'll never be able to do them.
3. How does your body feel on a typical day?
   1. Tense across the neck and shoulders.
   2. Relaxed. Your breathing is always easy and slow.
   3. Very stiff in the neck and shoulders and you're prone to frequent headaches.
4. How do you react to the situations you find yourself in feel during the course of an average day?
   1. You tend to lose your temper over unimportant things.
   2. You get more irritated by things going wrong then you would like.
   3. You cope calmly with life's usual setbacks.
5. What's your sleeping pattern like?
   1. You have no problems sleeping.
   2. You wake up frequently during the night and often feel tired the next day.
   3. You get odd nights of bad sleep but can usually make up for them.
6. How do you react when you think of what other people expect from you in life?
   1. You panic and feel inadequate.
   2. You can keep a sense of perspective. You know there are lots of things you can't do, and that's fine.
   3. You take their opinions seriously but you don't lose any sleep over them.

CHECK YOUR SCORES:

1 a-2 b-3 c-1
2 a-1 b-2 c-3
3 a-2 b-1 c-3
4 a-3 b-2 c-1
5 a-1 b-3 c-2
6 a-3 b-1 c-2

WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS:

11 – 18 You clearly feel stressed out and need to do something about it. Make sure you do some regular exercise or take up meditation or yoga.. Reduce your intake of stimulants such as nicotine and caffeine. Eat non-fatty, wholesome starchy foods and avoid sugars. And, most important of all, learn how to say no.

10 – 14 Your stress levels are about average, but you should do what you can to lower them so read the tips above.

6 – 9 You're doing well and have nothing to worry about. We live in a stressful world but it's obvious you can cope. You can set a good example for those around you to follow so they can learn how to keep their stress levels under control too.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies and place burdens on ourselves as a result of the language we use. The Story Of The Man Who Always Said Should can be used to illustrate how this can happen. But by making use of techniques such as reformulation, we can change both our attitudes and our behaviour. The Notes For Teachers that follow the tale explain how this can be done.

He was always telling people what they should or shouldn't do and he knew best about everything. He didn't realize that should is probably the most damaging word in the English vocabulary. It implies you were wrong, you are wrong, or you're going to be wrong. What people really need is more choice in their lives, the choice offered by replacing all shoulds with could.

At least you could say, he practised what he preached because he behaved the same way towards himself as he behaved towards everyone else. All the time the voice inside his own head was making statements about what he should and shouldn't do, how he should live his life and I suppose that's why he then imposed the same on others. Poor man. I wonder if he ever got any peace. Probably only when he was sleeping. And perhaps not even then. Who knows what he went through in his dreams? Probably constant torment. Not surprising he lost all his hair and ended up having a heart attack. But he didn't even learn from that. For once he'd recovered from the triple by-pass operation his condition necessitated, he started acting just as he had done before. In fact, if anything, he became even more unbearable. To put up with him you had to be a saint. And that's exactly what his dear wife was.

However, gradually through his constant criticism, he destroyed even her. He hammered away at her daily until she no longer had any mind of her own. Her actions became dictated by what she thought he believed she should or shouldn't do. That's when he lost interest in her and left her for another woman – someone else to mould into his likeness. Three days later she killed herself.

After that he became a changed man. He got himself committed to an asylum, which suited him just fine. He was drugged up to the eyeballs daily, his nagging inner voice was silenced forever, and he no longer had to make any choices at all. They were all made for him there.

I suppose he's found peace of mind of a kind. He spends his days sitting glued to the TV watching soap operas. The only choice to be made is which channel to watch. And he doesn't even have to make that decision as the nurse on duty does that for him. No more shoulds or shouldn'ts to worry about and that's the way he likes it - much safer by far.

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Pre-listening: You might like to discuss the following questions with the group as a lead-in to the tale.

Can you accept people the way they are or are you always trying to change them? Is it possible to change the way people think by pressurizing them or do you believe we can only learn from our own mistakes?

Post-listening: Ask the learners to make a list of all the things they think they should do. Allow a ten-minute time limit. Then ask them to reformulate the items in their lists by using the following wording: If I really wanted to, I could …..

They will probably find some things now seem much more possible and there are other things which they now want to abandon. Could gives you choice!

The burdens that we carry on our shoulders can be reflected in our dreams and keeping a dream journal can help us to learn from them. For those of you who have difficulty in remembering what you dream, they say that hanging owl feathers above your bed can facilitate the process. Another useful device is to make a note of your dreams immediately you wake up before you even move from the bed. The moment you start moving, you start forgetting. As for the interpretation, there is no need to strain for it as it will come to you when the time is right, often when you are least expecting it.

Once upon a time (perhaps it was yesterday or maybe even tomorrow) in a land far away (or maybe closer than you think) there lived a king who was plagued by a recurrent nightmare, of a fruit tree that would bear no fruit.

Despite his enormous wealth, never having learnt how to relate to people, the King was in fact an extremely lonely man. However, over the years he had learnt how to compensate for his discomfort with people by spending more and more time in his extensive gardens, which became so much of an obsession with the King that nothing else seemed to matter to him.

Not content with merely supervising the work on the land, the King went to great pains to ensure it was fully protected from any unwelcome intruders by surrounding the Palace grounds with all the latest security measures – ferocious guard dogs, high walls, fences of razor wire and 24-hour video surveillance – all with the purpose of ensuring his Garden of Eden was truly impenetrable. In view of the King's obsession, the consternation the recent spate of dreams had caused the monarch came as no surprise to those who knew him well.

Night after night, as soon as the King laid his royal head on the pillow and closed his eyes, the vision would return to haunt him and give him no peace. At his wits end, the sovereign turned to his advisors who summoned the leading medical experts from all over the land to examine him and diagnose the cause of his condition.

Their recommendations were as varied as their specialities, ranging from sleeping on a bed of nails to the application of blood-sucking leeches, from the King drinking three glasses of his own urine daily to a strict seven-day fast. Being a renowned gourmet, it was this last suggestion that displeased him the most and he responded by having the nutritionist who suggested it beheaded. Not surprisingly, the visits from the various specialists dried up after that.

In desperation, the King sent for his Head Gardener, a wise old soul who was never afraid to say what he thought regardless of whether it met with royal approval or not. As an expert on the folklore of trees, surely his trusted and loyal servant would be able to interpret the meaning of the dream and so put an end to his suffering.

When the Head Gardener heard the dream, his interpretation, to the King's surprise, was a positive one. "Sometimes the trees that do bear fruit only sustain those who are beyond salvation and who serve no useful purpose in any case. At least the tree in your dream cannot be misused in this way."

On hearing this, the King responded by asking to be left on his own as he wanted time to reflect on his trusted servant's strange interpretation, which left him even more puzzled than he had been before. It was a hot, sticky, summer afternoon and as he lay on the couch by the window overlooking the gardens, he soon drifted off to sleep.

As usual, he found himself standing in front of the fruit tree but this time it was dripping with fruit - exotic fruit of all shapes and sizes, the likes of which the King had never seen before. And the fruit tree was surrounded by all the King's courtiers who were gorging themselves on the succulent produce, stuffing themselves silly. Meanwhile, the poor people excluded from the Royal Gardens by the high railings, could only look on hungrily and watch the proceedings. As for the King, he had never noticed the crowds outside the railings before. In fact, he had become so engrossed in his garden over the years, to the detriment of everything else, that he'd forgotten they even existed.

The new dream, in a way, was even more disturbing than the previous one and left the King a chastened man. He immediately resolved to summon all his people to the Main Hall to deliver a speech. Nobody could remember the last time the King had shown any interest in addressing his subjects so the Hall was packed to bursting point for this extraordinary occasion.

" Never having had the opportunity to relate to my fellow human beings as an equal, I have always felt uncomfortable in the company of others and have devoted my life to caring for my vegetables and trees instead. And in my greed to protect what I falsely believed belonged to me, I did everything in my power to ensure that the fruit of my labour would be inaccessible to everyone else. But I know now that we will be provided for and that we should give thanks for what we will be given even before we receive it. For it is only by showing faith that our needs can be met. Instead of directing our energies to protecting what was never intended to belong to anyone in the first place, our time would be better spent in ensuring its equal distribution to all. So from this day on, I decree that the gates of the Palace will always be open, open to everyone whatever their status might be. And I have every confidence that rather than leading to any shortage, the result will be more than enough for everyone."

And from that day on, nobody in the Kingdom ever went short of food again. As for the King, by mingling among the visitors who came to the Garden, dressed inconspicuously in his overalls, he gradually learnt how to relate to people and began to enjoy life in a way that he had never imagined possible before. And the nightmares? They never returned.

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Pre-listening: The story that follows is about a king who suffered from recurrent nightmares. Have you ever had problems like this? What can be tried to solve such problems?

Before reading the tale, ask the participants to predict what the king's dreams were about. They can then compare their versions with the original.

While-listening: Pause after the paragraph ending 'put an end to his suffering' and ask the learners to predict the gardener's interpretation of the dream. They can then compare their versions with the original.

Post-listening: As a follow-up to the story, you might like to discuss the following: It is only by showing faith that our needs can be met. How far do you agree with this statement?

Ask the participants to produce parallel stories of their own, working in small groups. Here are some suggested titles: The Dreams of a Short Man / The Dreams of a Fat Man / The Dreams of a Bald Man / The Dreams of an Old Man / The Dreams of a Single Man / The Dreams of a Poor Man / The Dreams of a Young Man

The weight of the burden you carry on your shoulders is largely dependent on your attitude. All of us feel like cracked pots at some time in our lives. Perhaps we suffer from depression, or have a physical challenge that limits our activity. Maybe we have suffered losses, or are unable to work full time as we think we should. But perhaps we need to honour the light that has come to us as a result of those things that we or others judge as flaws. Jung suggested something to the effect that, it is not how we overcome our life challenges that is in the end important, but how we live with them and perhaps that is what this folk tale from India is all about.

Once upon a time there was a man whose job was to bring water from the stream to his Master's house.  The man carried the water from the stream in two clay pots. He hung the pots on each end of a pole, which he carried across his shoulders, to and from the stream many times a day.

One of the clay pots was perfect in every way for its purpose. The other pot was exactly like the first one, but it had a crack in it and it leaked. When the water bearer reached his Master's house, the perfect pot was always full, and the cracked pot was always half full.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, and it boasted loudly.  It criticized the cracked pot for its failures, and reminded it that despite his efforts, the water bearer could only deliver half a pot of water due to his cracks. The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections, and was miserable that it could only accomplish half of what it was supposed to do.

One day the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer. "I want to apologize to you. Because of my cracked side I've only been able to deliver half of the water to your Master's home, and you don't get the full value from your efforts."

The water bearer smiled on the cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the Master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed as they climbed the path from the river to the Master's mansion the cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful flowers along one side of the path, and it felt somewhat brighter.  But when they reached their destination and the water in the half-empty pot was poured out, his sadness returned.  "Thank you for trying to cheer me up with the beautiful flowers, water bearer," The pot spoke. " But I still must apologize for my failure."

The water bearer said, "Dear pot, you haven't understood what I was trying to show you. Did you notice that the flowers only grew on your side of the path? That's because of your crack. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and everyday as we walked from the stream the water that leaks from your pot has watered them.  I could have got a new pot, but I preferred to gather the flowers, and with them to bless many tables."

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Pre-listening: What do you see when you look at the drawing – a cup that's half full or a cup that's half empty? And what does this say about the kind of person you are? Now listen to the story.

While-listening: Pause after the line 'As we return to the Master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path' and ask the listeners why the water carrier said this to the pot. They can then listen to the rest of the story to see whether their answers were correct or not.

Post-listening: Now that you've listened to the story, look at the drawing of the cup again. What do you see this time? Do you see a cup that's half full or a cup that's half-empty? Has your answer changed? And if it has, why do you think it has?

As much as we rant and rave about the burdens we carry, the fact of the matter is that nine times out of ten they are largely of our own making, as the Georgian folk tale chosen to conclude this article illustrates:

It happened or it did not happen – in a certain land there lived a cattle-breeder. He was honest, hardworking, and he never offended anybody. All his animals grazed contentedly without being watched, and neither beast nor man hurt them, since he had no enemies.

In that same land lived a certain lazybones and idler. He did not do anything. While others were working, he was sleeping, so that he lived in poverty and only blamed it on his fate.

So one day that cattle-breeder met him. He greeted the poor man and asked, "how's life with you, friend?"

"What sort of life do I have?", he began to moan and groan, "I'm dying of hunger".

"Let's go to my place", said the cattle-breeder. "Work for me for a year and I'll give you a pair of good oxen. Then you can plough and sow your own field, and you'll be satisfied".

The idler thought, "Why work for him to overstrain myself for a pair of oxen? I might as well help myself and just take whatever I want. They say that the cattle even graze without being watched; so who's going to stop me?"

He climbed into the mountains, and he saw the cattle scattered across the land, but of herdsmen, there was none. He looked at this wealth, and his heart became just sick with envy. He had just got close when suddenly something began to ring, and all the animals started to run to the other side of the meadow where they gathered together in one place.

The idler also approached. He saw, standing in the middle of the cattle, a tiny little man. And the cows and sheep were gathered all around him. Some licked his face, some his hand, and he caressed them and stroked their hair.

The idler was surprised, and he asked, "Who are you? What sort of creature are you? Where have you been and where did you suddenly appear from?"

"I'm the fortune of the master of this herd", says the little man. "However, I also look after all his cattle, and I don't let anybody disturb them".

"And where then is my fortune?", asked the poor man.

"Your fortune can be found on such and such a mountain under such and such a bush", says this little man.

"And will I find my fortune if I go there?"

"Why ever shouldn't you find him, certainly you'll find him!", said the little man.

Somehow the idler got to the mountain indicated. He searched and searched for his fortune, but no way could he find it. He got tired, and he lay down in distress under a tree and dozed off. He slept through really soundly and when he woke up the sun was already setting. Suddenly he heard somebody sighing. He got up and looked: "Who is it sighing like that?" He saw, lying under bush, a little man: just skin and bone. He was lying there, groaning, and sighing.

"Who are you? What sort of creature are you and why are you lying about here?", asked the idler.

"But I'm your fortune", said the little man.

"Ach, you, lazybones!", the idler said angrily. "Whatever sort of fortune are you to me if all you do is lie here and groan? I'm dying of hunger, and you make a habit of lying down; and as for thinking about me, you don't think at all."

"You're a good man", said this fortune. "You lie down and sleep, and I lie down and sleep. You sit and do nothing, and I do even more so. Get up and make some effort! Do some work, and I'll reward you. And your life will change for the better"

So the poor man finally got the message and began to work. And for the first time in his life he stood on his own two feet. He got married, started a family of his own and began to live free of cares.