Humanising Language Teaching
Year 1; Issue 4; June 1999

Two friends are walking along chatting. One of them is tall and thin and other is short and tubby.

They come round a corner and there is a Catholic church. The tall thin man says to the other, sighing deeply, " I used to be a Catholic."

The other guy sighs too: "Mmmm, I used to be short and fat."

This man had lived a terrible life, stealing, lying and murdering. He died and his soul winged up towards Heaven. The Angels refused him entry and told him that Hell was where he was going:

"But you have a choice", they said "you can opt for either the German or the Italian sector of hell."

"And what's the difference, then?"

"Well, in the German section you go into this room and paint it white. Tomorrow you go into the same room and paint it black. The day after blue, and so on."

"And in the Italian part?"

"The job is the same but there are no brushes, no turps, no ladder."

The New Scientist's Feedback column on May 8^th, reported this advert in a local UK paper:

"Professional man, 45, head on a stick, seeks similar woman."

It turned out that the man had dictated his Lonely Hearts entry over the phone. What he actually said was "hedonistic"