The Magic of Ho’oponopono – or How to Find Peace Even with the Most Difficult Pupil in Your Class

Verena Flocke, Germany

Verena Flocke is a teacher at Europaschule Langerwehe and a coach. She is interested in energy psychology and how this can help in our job as a teacher. She also likes to occupy herself with learning strategies. Her website is: www.happylivingandlearning.com (in German) E-mail: info@happylivingandlearnin.com, vfdn60@yahoo.de

Have you ever experienced this? You are on the way to one of your classes and you feel reluctant to go. Yes, if you could, you would rather turn around and leave. The last few lessons are still playing around in your head. Nothing worked due to one boy that seemed to sabotage your well prepared lessons and made you feel like a failure after all these years. Making faces behind your back, breaking the rules constantly and not working at all. Let alone his own learning, but there is also the impact on the other students who seem to be distracted by his presence alone. Even if you tried to ignore him, they wouldn’t. They would call out: “Miss, did you see Kevin is eating in class?” or “Miss, I can’t concentrate, Kevin is taking away my pens.” You get the idea.

You talked to him in private, had endless telephone conversations with his mum who seemed understanding but helpless, you sent him out of class, you bribed him. Nothing. Nothing changed, except you got more frustrated each day.

So every time you enter that class your mood is low, you’re anticipating new disturbances and new frustration. There is this strain on you to control what is going on in the class and you seem to become more an animal trainer than a choirmaster. You start blaming and hating yourself, doubting your qualities as a teacher.

What is the way out of here?

Let’s change the perspective for a second. If you can agree to the presupposition that every person you meet is a mirror for you - then this situation tells you something about yourself. If you want to achieve a change in the other person you have to start changing yourself. Then – as an effect of this - the person mirroring you might change or even go away.

‘Stop’, you tell me. You are not behaving like that other person, you are not making faces, you are not disruptive and rude. Essentially you are a friendly and emphatic person. This person cannot be your mirror.

Right. This person is not mirroring your sunny side. This person is mirroring your shadow side. That side that you have learnt to suppress, probably when you were a child yourself.

In order to protect ourselves and get the love we want we learn in our childhood which side to show and which side to hide. There are generally two different and opposing ways. To put it bluntly, either we become someone who achieves things mainly by being the “good guy” who tries to please others by doing what they want, the one who always fits in or we become some sort of “tyrant” who manipulates and uses force and violence to control others. The way we develop depends mainly on the environment we are brought up in. We tend to hide the side that is not accepted by our parents and teachers. But this side is still there in us and wants to be acknowledged. And as long as we hate this side, we’ll meet people who remind us of this side which we try to ignore.

Here the ancient Hawaiian technique of problem solving ‘ho’oponopono’ (making things right) can help. With this technique you can integrate your shadow sides in a way that makes you feel peaceful and happy and may also change your external situation.

Let me tell you the story of Dr. Hew Len to understand the process and the effect. I first heard of him in a seminar by Manfred Mohr in Germany who took Dr. Len’s approach and defined it the way I use it now. He had the information by Joe Vitale who wrote a book together with Dr. Hew Len.

Dr. Hew Len’s story is a most magical story and you might not believe it at first. But try out the technique and see for yourself…

Some years ago there was a ward of criminally insane patients at the State Hospital of Hawaii. Nobody liked to work there, psychiatrists, doctors or nurses alike. The fluctuation was very high as it was dangerous to work here. Everybody felt stressed and afraid.

Then Dr. Hew Len started working there. He got an office, but he never saw the patients. He just “reviewed their files”, as Dr. Hew Len explained to Joe Vitale. And the patients got better after some months and healed. Some didn’t need their medicine any longer, some didn’t need to be shackled any more, some could even be released after some time. And changes even happened in the staff. They began to enjoy working there and the fluctuation stopped. After four years the ward could be closed as there were not enough patients left to go on. Most of them had been healed and released.

How could that be? What did he do? When Dr. Len reviewed the files, he worked on himself. He healed the part in himself that “created them”. Healing in Ho’oponopono means “loving yourself”. Dr. Hew Len took responsibility for everything that appeared in his life.

If you want changes in your pupils, take responsibility and start healing yourself. You will not only improve the quality of your life, but also the quality of your environment.

How do you do that?

You look for the shadow part in yourself. You can find it by asking yourself: “If I would behave like that why would I do it?” You feel deep inside of yourself, let the answer come up from inside and not from your brain. When you make out that feeling or quality that belongs to your idea then embrace it by repeating a mantra:

“I am sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you and I love you.”

Speak this mantra until you feel a change of your emotion. This is a sign that a transformation takes place. You can even go a step further and ask yourself another question: “Why did this person come into my life? What is the gift for me?” Proceed as before. When you have found your answer, speak the mantra again until you feel peace. This question can lead to a change of your behavior in the future that will enable you to cope with similar situations more effectively. And it can happen that the person that is bothering you stopps the irritating behavior.

By using the method of ho’oponopono you show love and forgiveness to yourself and you will find peace and cause an improvement in your environment at the same time. So whenever you come across a pupil that upsets you, look inside you, use ho’oponopono and see what magic enfolds.

You can also do this in a group of teachers. Everyone will follow along and you might get answers you have never expected.

If you like to get further information you will find them in the books I read for this article.

Manfred Mohr, Das kleine Buch vom Hoppen – Den Weg des Herzens gehen, Schirner Verlag, 2013.

Bärbel und Manfred Mohr, Cosmic Ordering: Die neue Dimension der Realitätsgestaltung aus dem alten hawaianischen Ho’oponopono, Koha Verlag, 2008.

Joe Vitale, Zero Limits, John Wiley and Sons, 2007.

Please check the Dealing with Difficult Learners course at Pilgrims website.
Please check the How the Motivate your Students course at Pilgrims website.