Humanising Language Teaching
Year 2; Issue 3; May 2000

Swedish, Irish, Jewish.

Please send us jokes that belong to your culture, to your region, to regions that tell jokes about yours, to the culture of professions you know; there are plenty of jokes the police and doctors and teachers tell about the rest of the world.

Monica, from Sweden, sent in this little fable:

A wish come true

A couple had been married for 35 years and were celebrating their sixtieth birthdays. Suddenly a fairy joined the party and said:

" Because you have been such a loving couple over all these years, I will grant you each one wish."

The wife said she wanted to get away from her dish-washing machine and travel round the world. The fairy waved her wand and BOOM! The tickets were in her hand.

Now it was the man's turn. He paused for a minute and then said shyly, he was Swedish, :

" Well, d'you know….I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me! "

The fairy picked up her wand and BOOM! He was 90.

Irish woodworm

" Have you heard the one about the Irish woodworm? "

" No."

" Well, it was found dead in a brick."

Next Door

Yes, I'm feeling very ,very lonely this morning. I've been married for fifteen years and yesterday my wife ran off with the chap next door. I'm going to miss him terribly!

A boring train journey

This old man is talking to himself in a train corridor. Every now and then he goes:

" Ha, ha, ha…" and laughs to himself.

At other times he frowns and groans.

Another passenger notices this strange behaviour and asks if he feels well.

" I feel fine but I get bored on train journeys so I tell myself jokes, that way I can make myself laugh."

" Really, " the other bloke says, " and why do you sometimes groan?"

" That's when it's a joke I already know!"

The Parent Slayer

A young man was on trial for killing his father and mother. The judge was naturally going to give him the maximum sentence.

" Does the accused wish to say anything in his defence before I pass sentence?".

The accused goes:

" Yes, my lord, no way you can give me a life sentence. There are serious attenuating circumstances : I am an orphan!"

[ Taken from Why not? The Corrosive Jew, by Moni Ovadia, Bompiani, 1996 ,( in Italian) ]