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Humanising Language Teaching
Year 2; Issue 6; November 2000

Jokes

Montevideo Jokes

Uruguay has one of the highest divorce rates. It is no wonder that this is reflected in our conversations in the EFL classrooms and in jokes.

What's the difference between ET and a husband?
ET at least tried to phone home.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems to be longer.

A man was sadly saying to a friend:
- "I had everything... money, a beautiful house, an imported car, the love of a beautiful woman. And all of a sudden, all was gone."
- "What happened?"
- "My wife found out"

A man was says to another very proudly:
- "My wife is an angel."
And the other replies:
- "You are lucky, mine is still alive."

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls God: - "Lord, I have a problem!"
The Heavens open and a powerful voice is heard:
- "What is the matter, my daughter?"
- "I know you have given me this beautiful garden and all these fruits and wonderful animals, but I'm not happy."
- "Why, Eve?"
- "I am very lonely."
- "OK, then. I'll create a man for you."
- "What is a man, o Lord?"
- "It will be an imperfect creature with aggressive inclinations and an enormous ego, not willing to listen to you, and unable to understand you. He will behave well in bed, but will try to control you, making you believe that you need him for everything. In sum, he will bother you quite a bit ... but he will make your life entertaining. If you still want him, there's only one condition..."
- "What is it, Lord?"
- "You will have to let him believe that I made him first."

A man had been in a coma for 2 months when he wakes up and sees his wife who had been next to him all the time. The man tells his wife:
- "You know, you have always been with me through thick and thin. When I lost my job, you were there with me. When I lost all my houses and my businesses, you were also there with me. When I was shot, there you were with me also..."
The dying man pauses, he gets closer to his wife and whispers in her ear:
- "You know what? You bring me bad luck."




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