The bridge

Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge with a warning sign: maximum height 4 metres.
They get off and measure their truck. It's 6 metres high.
'What shall we do?" asks the one.
"I don't see any police" says the other one "so let's drive on".

The Firing Squad

There were three guys, an American, a Japanese and a Belgian who were about to be executed for a crime that they had committed. So, they bring the first guy, the American out and just as they are about to shoot he yells, "Look, it's a tornado!" As the guards are running for cover the American gets away. Five minutes later, they realize that there is no tornado.
Then they bring out the second man, the Japanese and as they are about to shoot him he yells, "Oh no! Earthquake!!" As the guards run for cover he gets away. Three minutes later they realize that there is no earthquake.
Finally, they bring out the Belgian and the guards yell, "Ready, Aim, -", but before they could finish, the Belgian yells, "Fire!"

See how your logic is in figuring this out:

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!
The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the above long paragraph.
( Georges Perrec , with 4 "e's" in his name wrote a full novel in French without using that letter!)

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:

The Japanese eat relatively little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink relatively little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink generous amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and other fatty foods and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Een Belg op safari

Een Nederlander vraagt aan een Belg die net terug is van safari: "Wat voor beesten heb je allemaal gezien?" Belg: "Apen, tijgers en leeuwen, dangeroes..." Nederlander: "Dangeroes, bedoel je geen kangoeroes?" Belg: "Nee, dangerous. Er stonden overal bordjes: Dangerous, Dangerous

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[Editorial note: we will publish the best translation of the above text into English- closing date for sending in your text: December 25th, a feast for a small minority of the people in the world. Whoops, sorry, it is widely celebrated in the USA and so must be held to be a feast of world importance]