In the Plumb Line of Fire

Ibn Tyne, Saudi Arabia

Ibn Tyne is an EAP teacher based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. His research interests include: motivation, poetry use in the classroom and conceptualising the L2 self. E-mail: ibntyne@gmail.com

That on-call maintenance office, manned
By Bangladeshis and Indians
Have made me – EFL's what I teach,
I'm a modeler of correct RP speech
(Although I sound the 't' in often;
Some dialect defaults just won't soften.)
And, therefore, the best enunciation—
Guilty of an act of pron desecration;
Sounding the silent 'b' in plumber
(Though dumbing down doesn't mean they're dumber)
So that they understand, get the job done.
Making requests over a crackly phone
Line is not the time for a pron lesson.
I don't want the call to end in confusion.
But if I was heard by David Crystal,
I've no doubt he would take the pistol
And shoot the phone up into smithereens,
While warning me, "Don't mess with the Queen's!"