Two Jokes from Brazil and Two French-English ones

Communication?

The Brazilian President, in anticipation of an international meeting on the problems of Africa, sends out the following message:

We propose that the rest of the world should take rational measures to alleviate conditions of extreme poverty in Africa and we ask you to please give this proposal your serious consideration.

In response the French foreign Ministry, the Quai d'Orsay, sent this message:

Please explain: we do not understand these words in your text: extreme poverty.

The US State Department wrote:

Please explain: we do not understand the rest of the world .

Argentina sent this message:

We do not understand the word please.

The Brazilian Conservative Opposition reacted this way;

Please explain: we do not understand the phrasealleviate conditions of poverty .

The final reaction came from the Brazilian Socialist Party:

We do not understandtake rational measures and the phrase to give serious consideration to is right outside our ken.

Fifty-Fifty

This redneck cowboy from the South of Brazil, a "gaucho", was standing at the bar with a guy from central Brazil, from Minas Gerais State.

" Down South we are men, real men, 100% men!"

" Mmmm," goes the guy from Minas, "interesting…. Well in my neck of the woods we are 50% men and 50% women, and we really like it that way!"

Obeying the Police

Sent in by Cecile Marit, Belgium

This American tourist was in the West End of London: stately residences and squares full of locked private gardens. But no REST ROOMS. He was bursting to go and found an alleyway where he thought he was out of sight. Just as he was unzipping a hand tapped him on the shoulder. The policeman says:

" You are about to commit a public nuisance- come with me."

The policeman leads the American to a gate in a great wall. He unlocks the gate:

" Anywhere in there, Sir."

Manicured lawns, statuary fountains, sculptured hedges, huge beds of gorgeous flowers. After doing his business the tourist goes back to the gate:

" Really kind of you……. is that what you call British hospitality?"

" No Sir, that's what we call the French Embassy!"

Honesty

Sent in by Cecile Marit

President Chirac of France was sitting next to Queen Elizabeth of England as they drove through London in the Queen's open carriage. Such, however were the stomach problems of one of the horses that the ears and noses of the two Heads of State were badly affected.

" You see, Mr President, even the Queen of England cannot control everything."

To which the president replied, in his best English accent and with his well-known subtlety:

"Your Majesty, I appreciate your honesty, I thought it was the horse!"