Humanising Language Teaching
Year 5; Issue 3; May 03

Tony Blair, the UK Prime Minister is worried that his mental powers might be on the wane, now he has reached the age of 50. So he goes to have his brain examined by a leading London neurologist.
" Prime Minister, like all normal people you have two hemispheres, the left and the right. The problem revealed by the scan I have just done is this: in your left hemisphere there is nothing right and in your right brain there is nothing left.! "

Going to the Washroom
( Sent in by Cecile Marit)

Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go to the washroom and find an empty stall. As I sit down I hear a voice from the next stall: " Hi there, how's it going?"

I don't know what to do…. so finally I say: " Not bad…"

The voice comes again: "So, what are you doing..?"

It feels weird, but, anyway, I say: " Well, I'm just going to the bathroom and then I'm headed back East…"

" Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the next stall interrupts with some crazy answer."

Nannies in Brazil
( sent in by Juan Uribe)

Marcelo is a seven year old, who is looked after by a nanny, Silvia. His teacher asks him: " Who is Silvia?" " She's my secretary!"

Hot Air Balloons
( sent in by Paul Davis, who often says the jokes published in HLT are pathetic! )

A man in a hot air balloon realises he is lost. He reduces altitude and spots a woman below:

"Excuse me, can you help me? I don't know where I am."

" You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees West longitude."

" You must be a teacher", said the balloonist.

" I am ", replied the woman, " How do you know?"

" Well, see, everything you told me in correct but what use it is to me? I'm still lost."

The woman looks down at her shoes and then looks up again:

" And you must be a school administrator.!

" Correct. And how did you know?

" Well", said the woman, " you don't know where you are or where you are going. The clinching fact is that you have risen to where you are thanks to a large quantity of hot air! "

If you agree with Paul Davis that the joke section in HLT is weak, then send me some jokes from your community, your society. These are better than the jokes that flood round the Web.