Humanising Language Teaching
Year 3; Issue 2; March 2000
Compiled by Bryony Fuller
(The plight of the EFL teacher and learner…)
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the European Community, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult – for example, cough, plough, rough, though, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. Of course, this programme would be administered by a committee from the participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replased by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounced alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage The removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and people would be reseptive to steps sutch as replasing 'th' with 'z'. Perhaps zen ze function of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitch is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'. Similar argumnts vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinationz of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fynd it ezi tu undustand esh ozer. Ze drems uv ze Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
Vat du yu zink?
[Author: unknown]
