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Humanising Language Teaching
Year 5; Issue 5; September 03


French language Joke about……

Sent in by Cecile Marit, Belgium

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There's this little duck swimming sadly round and round, in tears.
The crocodile asks:
Little duck, why are you crying?

Sniff, snivel, sniff, sniff, don't know who I am, don't know who…sniff sniff

Well, you're a duck, aren't you? says the crocodile, I mean, you've got a yellow bill, feathers, webbed feet… means you're a duck, doesn't it?

Really, well, then I'm a duck…says the duckling , so pleased to know who she is.

And what are you, then?

Guess, said the crocodile.

Mmmmm, said the duckling, tail going up and down, little arms, big mouth and a leather jacket… you've got to be Italian!

Champion idiot of the year 2002

This woman calls in very upset and asks for the toxicology department. She tells me she found her little daughter eating ants. I reassure her: ants are not poisonous. Before ringing off she adds:

Should be alright anyway, I gave my daughter some ant poison to kill 'em off!

Two Portuguese army Jokes

The Sergeant is teaching them physics:

As you all know, water boils at 90 degrees Celsius.

One of the privates puts his hand up:

Like in school they told us it boils at 100 degrees.

After a bit of thought, the sergeant says:

You're quite right- it's right angles that boil at 90!

Sergeant to a raw recruit during a class:

Number 26, explain to us what the Fatherland is.


You don't know, you nasty little man! The fatherland is your country, the land where you were born. It's you native land, the mother that gave birth to you! Understand?


Number 25, explain to us what the Fatherland is.

Well, Sir, it's 26's Mum!
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